There’s a stench in the air, and no, it’s not the sweet funk of a fat hash hole slowly burning on warm, sunny, spring afternoon. It’s the rank hypocrisy of the alcohol industry, wheezing and limping into the cannabis space like it owns the joint.
These corporate dinosaurs, clinging to their rotting empires, have decided they should control cannabis sales because, according to them, they’ve “proven” they can age-gate properly. What a steaming pile of corporate PR bullshit!
Last time I checked, alcohol kills over 178,000 Americans every year. It’s the kingpin behind countless cases of domestic violence, car crashes, cancer diagnoses, and shattered families. And we’re supposed to believe that the same pushers of death, the same merchants of normalized destruction, are somehow the best stewards of cannabis? Nah. Not on our watch.
The Glaring Hypocrisy of Alcohol vs. Cannabis
The hypocrisy is suffocating. Alcohol is so deeply embedded in American culture that it’s practically spoon-fed to kids before they can even drive. “Have a beer, be a man.” “Pour some wine, be a lady.” Meanwhile, these same companies flood college campuses, NFL stadiums, and goddamn birthday parties with marketing, knowing full well their product kills.
- 33.1% of 12-20 year olds have tried alcohol at least once.
- 8.6% of 12-20 year olds reported binge drinking in the past month.
- Around 0.1% of 12-13-year-olds engage in heavy alcohol use.
- Around 1.2% of 12-13-year-olds reported current alcohol use (not binge).
- Alcohol consumption increases with age, with 16-17 year olds having a 13.1% current use rate (not binge).
But sure, alcohol executives, tell us all again about your excellent track record of responsible sales. Cannabis doesn’t need your fake virtue, your blood money, and it sure as hell doesn’t need your help!
Big Alcohol is Coming for Cannabis
The real truth? The alcohol industry isn’t here to safeguard cannabis consumers. They’re here to steal the cannabis industry from the grassroots operators who built it. They’re here to suffocate the mom-and-pop businesses, to lobby their way into state monopolies, to turn our plant into their product; sterile, soulless, and corporate approved.
And let’s address the next level of insanity: the idea of forcing people to go into a liquor store to buy cannabis products. It’s disgusting, disrespectful, and completely blind to the issues that alcohol causes every single day. For people battling alcoholism, whether newly sober or decades deep into recovery, being forced to enter an alcohol filled environment to access their medicine or preferred plant is beyond cruel. It’s a slap in the face to anyone who knows firsthand the destruction alcohol leaves behind. It’s shameful, it’s reckless, and it shows just how little these corporations understand about healing.
Let’s get real about this age-gating myth. It’s not the alcohol industry doing the checking, it’s the bartenders, retail clerks, servers, and bouncers. It’s the frontline workers who do the work, not the suits sitting in a boardroom. To act like the alcohol industry has some gold standard of responsible access is just another layer of the lie. They’ve outsourced that responsibility for decades, while cashing in no matter how much destruction their product leaves behind. Their track record isn’t about protecting communities, it’s about protecting profits.
And let’s be real, these folks aren’t new to the war against cannabis. They’ve been the loudest lobbyists against legalization for decades. The alcohol industry has contributed more than $17 million to federal candidates in elections to oppose cannabis legalization because they’ve always been afraid and terrified, of what they knew was coming. They knew the day would come when people woke up. When people started asking: “Why the hell am I still poisoning my body with alcohol when I could heal myself with cannabis?” And now, that day is here.
Gen Z isn’t drinking like their parents did. Millennials aren’t pounding whiskey the way past generations did. Hell, even Boomers are swapping out cocktails for cannabis gummies and other low-dose cannabis products.
Because people finally see it; alcohol was the real gateway drug all along. It’s always been a gateway to violence, addiction, cancer, and broken lives. Meanwhile, cannabis remains undefeated in its reality:
- No fatal overdoses.
- No spiraling cancer rates.
- No drunken brawls that rip families apart.
- No pharmaceutical interventions just to survive the withdrawal.
- No secret lobbying campaigns to keep healing from the people.
It’s a plant that heals. A plant that teaches. A plant that brings people together, not tears them apart. And yet here we are, listening to the alcohol suits puff out their chests, telling legislators they deserve to own dispensaries, run distribution, and make the rules for cannabis because they know “how to do it safely.”
Give Us a F*cking Break: Cannabis is for Everyone
You don’t get to spend generations cashing in on death and misery and then pretend you’re some kind of white knight riding in to save the cannabis world. You’re not heroes, you’re relics. You are monuments to an era of social destruction that people are finally choosing to walk away from.
If anything, the alcohol industry needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and watch itself die the slow, steady death it earned. Not because cannabis killed it. Not because Gen Z hates fun. But because truth finally caught up. People don’t want your poison anymore. They don’t want your marketing spin. They want something real. Something ancient. Something healing. They want cannabis!
This industry was built by the underground, by the outlaws, by the rebels who stared down prison sentences and media smear campaigns and said, “Fuck you. We’ll plant it anyway.” It was built by cancer patients, veterans, and dreamers. By the ones you mocked and jailed and dismissed. So, here’s your notice, Alcohol Industry: Step back! Stay out! Die slow! The cannabis industry doesn’t need you or want you, and the industry damn sure won’t let you run the show.
>Not today.
>Not tomorrow.
>Not ever.
