A Field Manual To Identify SEO Red Flags & Combat Agencies
In case you’re wondering why this is written like a military field manual, consider this introduction from my soon-to-be-published Field Manual on Dispensary Operations titled “FM-420 – Special Operations in Dispensary Warfare.”
If This Isn’t War, I Don’t Know What Is
If you’re one of those happy-go-lucky cannabis hobbits who still think there’s room at the cannabis table for everyone, don’t read this Field Guide. Burn it to keep warm because your gas just got cut off.
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s very little room at the cannabis table.
Bankruptcies are being filed faster than Vegas divorces.
Companies are dropping like soldiers charging machine gun nests.
Most dispensaries still standing are on shaky legs and dodging taxes or invoices or both.
The truth is inescapable. We are in the midst of the Dispensary Wars.
That’s what the dispensary battleground looks like. There are enemy combatants everywhere. One of the most insidious is the shady SEO Agency that promises they’ll put you at the top of page one, takes your money, and never even moves the SEO needle.
They’re out there lurking like sappers in the wire, sliding into LinkedIn DM’s, firing shots in your comments section like snipers. So here are some red flags to flush them out so they don’t ambush you and burn your marketing spend with their grift.
The Enemy: Shady SEO Agencies
If you see these SEO red flags, the agency is not your ally. They are the enemy.
🚩 Guaranteed #1 Rankings (or anything else)
The first rule of SEO is that there are no guarantees. Digital marketing is complex and requires technical expertise in multiple disciplines, commitment, adaptability, and some luck to get to the top of page one.
The same is true for staying there. Google constantly changes its algorithm. SEO tactics must adapt to that change. Google is also sprinting toward AI search results. No one really knows how that will impact SEO day to day, so any guarantee is bullsh*t.
The best agencies promise to use their best efforts to improve some key performance indicators (KPPIs), including ranking, and leave it there. They do it by adapting to Google’s changes by trial and error. It takes time, effort, and ingenuity. Your agency must be relentless in its drive to beat the algorithm.
Many SEO agencies coast on dated tactics far longer than they should, don’t keep pace with change, and damage client rankings in the process. Especially when they have you locked into a long-term contract.
The real danger is that the effects of apathy may not be felt for months, and it may take months to turn the SEO tide once you’re swimming against it. Monthly and quarterly reports on agency SEO tactics & performance, particularly in the wake of an algorithm change, are key to ensuring that this doesn’t happen to you.
🚩 One-Size-Fits-All Packages
No two dispensaries face the same SEO challenges, so no two dispensary SEO battle plans should look the same. But every agency wants to scale, and building a custom SEO strategy for every dispensary makes it hard to scale.
Off-the-rack tactics can leave you with an SEO plan for desert warfare when you have jungle warfare problems. Make sure your SEO agency tailors their SEO battle plan to your specific challenges. If you’re not sure, ask how your SEO challenges are different from other clients and how they go about tailoring strategies to meet different types of challenges.
If you don’t like the answer you get, pull the pin, duck, and cover. Fire in the hole!
🚩 No Cannabis Experience
DO NOT HIRE AN SEO AGENCY WITH NO DIRECT EXPERIENCE WITH CANNABIS.
Read that again.
If they’ve never fought on the cannabis front, they don’t know how to fight on the cannabis front. Cannabis SEO is its own thing. It is asymmetric warfare with unique compliance landmines, rules, regulations, and intense local competition.
🚩 Google Ads
If your SEO agency pitches you on Google Ads, proceed with caution. Paid ads violate Google’s terms of service and can put you in a world of hurt.
That said, it doesn’t mean they can’t be run. There are some Google Ads Jedis out there that have mastered the dark art, but they are few and far between, and they don’t advertise. If you get a Google Ads pitch from your SEO agency, ask for multiple case studies spanning years. Ask if they’ve ever had a Google Business Profile suspended. Ask if they have a protocol in place to get a Google Business Profile restored. Do your due diligence.
If you’re lucky, they have one of those Jedis on their squad, and Google Ads are a great weapon to have in your marketing arsenal while your SEO is gaining traction.
🚩 No Google Business Profile Strategy (GBP)
For dispensaries, your GBP is your forward operating base. Dispensary business is hyperlocal, and your GBP may be just as important to local search results as your website. You want to be in Google’s local three-pack. If they don’t have a strategy to get you there, they’re not Combat-ready for cannabis SEO.
🚩 No Local SEO Strategy
The hyperlocal nature of the dispensary SEO also extends to your website. If they’re not drilling on NAP (Name, Address, Phone) and local citations, your fire base will be invisible on Google Maps. People can’t shop at a dispensary they can’t find.
🚩 Weak Content Ops
Cheap copywriters regurgitating generic weed blogs written by Chat GPT won’t win hearts and minds. And don’t even think about using them for your home page content. That’s your brand, and there’s nothing more important than having a strong brand as your foundation. If you rely on cheap AI trash as your content strategy, it will be reflected in poor search results. Google won’t rank garbage.
🚩 No Technical SEO Optimization
Site speed, mobile optimization, and e-commerce integration with indexable menus must be part of the battle plan, or your SEO ranking will suffer, and you won’t rank for product searches.
🚩 No Clear KPIs
I know I said no guarantees, but that doesn’t mean your agency gets a draft deferment on a commitment to measurable progress. Guaranteeing you’ll be at the top of page one in 90 days is a red flag. Providing reasonable KPI’s is not, and rankings are not the only unit of measurement. Metrics like bounce rate, click-through rate, and Keyword rankings also matter.
🚩 No Transparency
An agency should be transparent with every tactic it deploys, especially with backlinks. The quality of a backlink makes a material difference to its performance. If an agency commits to providing a certain number of backlinks per month, but they’re buying link farm garbage to fulfill that commitment, they’re just planting dirty bombs (spam links) under your brand. These types of backlinks can do serious harm to your site’s reputation with Google, which will have a negative impact on rankings.
🚩 No Consistent Reporting Cadence
Effective SEO requires consistent intel. Month to month, you need to know where you stand on key KPIs, what tactics are working, what’s not working, and what’s being done to fix what’s broken. No army goes into combat without situational reports (sit reps). You can’t fight this digital battle blind.
A Few More Simple Red Flags To Watch Out For
- 🚩 No long-term contracts
- 🚩 No Cheap Deals ($500 SEO)
- 🚩 Own Your Digital Assets
🪖 Field Test Questions – Vet Every Agency
Before you sign a contract and ally with an SEO agency, ask for case studies.
Multiple case studies.
Multiple case studies spanning years.
Get references as well. Talk to at least three past clients and ask for a reference for at least one client who was unhappy with their performance.
You want to hire an agency that’s a seasoned cannabis SEO veteran with a proven track record of success and flawless integrity, not a cherry fresh out of basic training or a grifter on the hustle.
⚔️ Command Note
In the dispensary wars, SEO is not ancillary; it’s one of your main sources of marketing firepower. Duck and cover when you see those red flags. If you ally with an SEO agency that deploys shady tactics or lacks cannabis combat experience, you will lose the battle for ranking and market share.
Choose your allies wisely.
